Each year, on the first Tuesday of November, is Melbourne Cup Day in Australia. Supposedly, it’s “the race that stops a nation” but in practical terms, this means:
It’s all very Australian—except for the race entrants, those cocaine-snorting, multi-million-dollar wonder-ponies with gold-embroidered sphincters and pedigrees that fork off the Hapsburg family tree.
That’s why we need a more egalitarian cup day, an event for the masses, the people’s race—Cane Toad Derby Day.
Here’s how Australia’s new national event will roll:
I’m open to further ideas, bring ‘em on. And if you have a great name for a racing toad, let’s hear it.