Since I think January in Australia is a bit too hot for flag waving, face painting or cane toad racing, I thought I’d instead list ten erotic romance Australia Day scenarios. That's right, any of the following scenarios could actually happen on Australia Day.
1. Fifi whips herself up a ravishing frock made from the Australian flag to wear to her local Australia Day party. Unfortunately, during her impromptu Macarena performance, several important stitches come undone and the hero is forced to fling his body over hers to cover her unmentionables. Romance ensues.
2. Lola is a professional lamington and pavlova sculptor. Since she’s just starting out in the business, there’s no way she can decline when the local BDSM club invite her to cater their Australia Day event. There’s trouble when several dungeon masters decide she’s tastier than her lamingtons. Felicity, a big-breasted dominatrix, fights them off with her cat ‘o nine tails to save her. Romance ensues.
3. Max, a lifesaver, is running across a car park to catch up with the Mr Whippy van when he trips over the lip of his Australia Day thong and is knocked unconscious. Kind-hearted Fay helps him to his feet, straightens his Speedos and takes him to the doctor. Turns out Max has amnesia from the fall so she lets him stay at her one-bedroom apartment until he regains his memory. Romance ensues.
4. When former copper, Mick, sees the way Jonno wraps his lips around a didgeridoo, he knows he’s found the man for him. But by the end of the Australia Day party the priceless didgeridoo has gone missing and Jonno’s in deep doo-doo. Mick uses his policing skills to help Jonno track down the missing didgeridoo. Romance ensues.
5. On Australia Day, Gemma from America decides to watch a three-day cricket match with her new Aussie friend. Not having had years to develop the required immunity to boredom, she falls into a coma on the second day. A handsome stranger leaps up from his seat and revives her with emergency cunnilingus. Romance ensues.
6. At the beach, Daisy uses her Australia Day face paint to write ‘eat me’ on her belly. Several fellow bathers take the message literally. Romance ensues.
7. Bianca and Toby eye off the same sausage at a sausage sizzle. They both make a grab for it, Toby gets his hand over it but Bianca wrestles him to the ground. She chokes him with a headlock until he passes out. She eats the sausage. He regains consciousness. Romance ensues.
8. At the Menage Appreciation Society’s Australia Day party, three strangers (Doris, Ben and Martin) compete in the ‘three-way kiss under the flag’ competition and win a free trip to Budgewoi for a week. Romance ensues.
9. After winning big at an Australia Day game of two-up, Meg gets rip-snorting drunk and wakes up with a male swimwear model. Never one to complain about the cards life deals her, she lures her new friend into staying longer with her fine cooking and Karma Sutra colouring-in book. Romance ensues.
10. When Delilah stays at her boyfriend’s place for Australia Day, she decides to bring her pet cockatoo with her. Wally the cockatoo finds himself trapped in a cage with Esme the Galah. Feathers fly, but during the day they overcome their species differences. Romance ensues.
If these Australia Day scenarios have whet your appetite for more Oz-themed erotic romance, leave a comment to win a copy of A Sporting Chance (a novella which takes place on Australia Day). In A Sporting Chance romance (and bodies) collide with the Aussie tradition of cane toad racing on Australia Day. Be on the alert for a snarky barmaid in steel-capped boots, swooning, amphibians and a super-hot ex-Soviet bar owner. (Take a peek below.)
Entries close midnight 28 January. To hop to the other Australia Day blogs, zoom over to the Book'd Out site here.
A Sporting Chance
In the outback town of Mount Tully, many a man’s had to squeeze into a frock after backing the wrong derby cane toad on Australia Day. But Mount Tully’s surliest bartender, Jane Ransom, has her steel-capped boots planted firmly on the ground, so there’s no way she’d risk her independence to accept a saucy bet from the sexy but bossy pub owner, Luka Belov … is there?
Whatever magic DNA spawned his lean, mean heavyweight frame also carried the bossy gene. Forget about the Slavic features that tugged on her libido like a rough hand on a choker-leash, because the bossy ones always thought they could change her, mould her into more of a “lady”. Wrong. And when the romance soured, she’d lose her job. Luka could never be anything more than eye-candy to her.
Speaking of candy…
Pulling the chocolate koala she’d bought at the bar out of her jeans pocket, she caught his disparaging glance. “What?”
“Stuff’s bad for you.”
She gaped at him. This from the man who’d served her microwaved fries? “And I suppose your body’s a temple?”
“Interested in the hours of worship?”
His tone was casual but his eyes held just enough heat to make her blink and stiffen. Unthinkable. He’d openly raised the subject of the hairy, heaving, lustful, elephant in the metaphorical room: sexual attraction.
For a moment she allowed herself the luxury of imagining a strong set of shoulders by her side, a lust-worthy body sharing (or, more likely, hogging) her rumpled sheets in the morning, someone to talk to at the end of the day.
A beautiful dream, but it never worked out that way, not for her. There was always the hurt of not being enough: not girly enough, not nice enough, not whatever enough.
She squared her shoulders, stiffened her resolve and set about repairing the walls between them. “Here’s a bet for you. If Germaine wins, you don’t talk to me for a week.”
An unholy glint lit his eyes. “You’re on. She loses, you wear a dress for a week.”
Not that again. If he loved frocks so much, he should wear one.
“She wins, you wear the dress and don’t talk to me for a week.”
Luka’s bark of laughter deepened her frown.
“You want total warfare, Jane? Fine. She loses, you do exactly what I say for a week, whether that’s dusting my house dressed as Fifi the French maid or giving me a foot massage.”
She froze, the moment amplified by each solid pump of her heart. A week at his bidding? Massage? Her brain froze with lust, refusing to let her move past the image of her hands running over his hard, bare flesh as he lay prone before her with eyes shut, big chest rumbling with satisfaction while she kneaded and stroked.
Impossible. She could never hide her feelings under those conditions, would never be able to rein in her hands to keep them from wandering off his spectacular contours and into more dangerous territory. And with that handsome face of his, he would get anything and everything he wanted from her, which was unlikely to be limited to cleaning duties. Her stomach churned at the very thought of being under his full control, physically, emotionally and sexually. What if he exploited the situation shamelessly? What if she enjoyed it?